NEEDLING

TYPICAL FRIDAY MORNING

6h42

I arrive at the hotel, have coffee and croissant with Kamel, the night clerk, and Clementine, the maid. A little later, Malika, the second maid, shows up.

7h28

“Yesterday,” a client starts with me after I tell him good morning and help him move a table in the breakfast room so that his group of four can sit at the same table, “I gave you a list of three complaints and nothing was done about it. What do I have to do to get this taken care of?”
This takes me off guard because : 1) I was in a good mood; 2) we are after all in a two star hotel, not a four star, and they’re not paying enough to expect slaves and servants; and 3) the tone he took with me was degrading, the voice one takes when one speaks to a badly behaved dog. He is the client, though, and I couldn’t tell him to go fuck himself so I made some lame excuse. However, these are clients that can expect absolutely nothing from me from now on. I usually go out of my way to help people out. As he stepped out and handed me his key, he said in the same tone, “I still have the same problems that need taking care off.” “Oui, monsieur,” I said and smiled while thinking, “go fuck yourself.”

The three complaints : 1) Leaking sink; 2) No klenex in the room; 3) TV remote control not working. 1b) I will leave a note for Kamel that under no circumstance should he move the client to a different room; 2b) Even if we find a box of klenex, the client should be told we no longer have any; 3b) I probably will, but I might not put new batteries in the remote control, depends on whether I find my good humour back again. I might go up to his room and spit on his toothbrush, if the notion becomes attractive enough.

Snotty Client comes back in, he forgot something. As he steps back out of the hotel, from the elevator to the door he says, “Merci, Monsieur…” as he gives me his key back, “Bonne journée, Monsieur…” as he steps towards the door, “Au revoir, Monsieur…” as he steps outside. I ignore him completely, never answering him with the usual polite answers, or even bothering looking at him to at least acknowledge him. Childish, I know, but it makes me feel better.

I’ve worked in plenty of service-industry jobs, and I’ve never understood why some people are just simply snotty or down right rude and mean to the people who serve them food, drinks, rooms, cut their hair, shave them, shine their shoes, et cetera… sure, maybe you do earn more in one day than some of us do in one month or even one year, but we control what you eat, what you drink, where you sleep, and so much more… shouldn’t you at least be polite to us? I’ve worked in plenty of kitchens, and I know what happens to the food of certain asshole clients. There’s almost always a smile on our faces, that’s true… however artificial… but…

9h58

Two clients still eating breakfast. I told Malika she should go up to the rooms, that I would take care of the late birds. Everybody paid no problem. One client, a regular, we’ll call him Monsieur Bidet, who usually complains about everything, was actually nice… and even joked a little this morning.
“Good morning, sir, did you sleep alright?”
“Very well, thank you.”
“Did you have anything to drink, sir, from the minibar?”
“…”
“Such as mineral water, coke, whisky, beer, or whatever?”
“I had some tap water, we don’t have to pay for that, do we?” He said half jokingly.
“Not today, sir, but the next time I’m afraid we’ll have to charge for the tap water, sir.” We both laughed
This Monsieur Bidet is usually god awful. Yesterday, we forgot to bring up his breakfast at the requested time of 7h30. He called me at 7h40 to remind me we had forgot to bring his coffee up and croissant. I expected to get chewed out as soon as he came down. Nothing. All smiles. I was pleasantly surprised. This morning, I tell Clementine about it as we’re having our before-the-clients-come-down coffee.
“Monsieur Bidet was so nice yesterday, what happened? Did he chew you out when you brought his breakfast fifteen minutes late?”
“No, not at all. I was all nervous, figuring on getting yelled at as usual. I even took a breather in front of his door getting ready for whatever was coming. And nothing, he was real polite, and thanked me for breakfast, and everything.”
“Wow… what got over him, I wonder. He didn’t say anything?”
“Nothing. When I walked in, he was getting out of the shower with just a little towel around his waist... so he didn’t say anything, he just said thanks.”
“You just walked in?”
“Well, I knocked first, then I walked in when he said to. And there he was smiling with a little towel around his waist just getting out of the shower.”
“That’s why he’s been in a good mood. Clementine, you got the poor chap all excited, we should send his wife a note.”
“I didn’t do anything!”
“Believe me, it doesn’t take much.”