NEEDLING

Thinking about it, I doubt I’ll be doing the NanoWrimo thing. Sounds tempting, but seriously I’ve got so many unfinished projects as it is, it’s not smart to start on yet another one which will most probably remain unfinished... and while I'm at it, I also decided early this week to stop attending my writer’s group... for plenty of reasons... A lot of it revolving around my realization that if I want to get anything done, I’ll have to go about it alone... at first... then with the help of my friends.

To go looking for help and discipline in the midst of strangers who are themselves looking for more or less the same thing is like applying into a social club of incapables. A sort of Alcoholic Anonymous. Not to be so unfairly judgmental towards my ex-writer's-group-members – each one has his/her own reasons for being part of, for staying with, for leaving the company of... each has his/her own way of interpreting, reacting to, understanding their surroundings – because to some extent I have been looking for a “club” most of my life. This one was simply not it. So I left it. So be it.

(I'm the ultimate incapable. As in I fit nowhere for real and everywhere for starters... and never stick around for the long-run.)

What I do know is that I need to be with folks with whom I can talk, create, discuss, dialogue, argue...

And why do I feel the need to write here these thoughts boring as they are, personal as they are, in this blog? Who cares? Really... why would any of this matter to anybody?

(Sorry about this entry... this is the reason why I’ve barely written anything this week. If things go as planned, I’ll be back in shape within the next few days, and I can write up this great new single malt I abundantly tasted the other night. Maybe I’ll even tell you a couple stories from work, from my non-existent social life, from my living situations, from my family, from my personal demons... from my et ceteras...)