NEEDLING

Twenty minutes before I closed, this cowboy with a greasy hat walks in. He’s one of my regulars and he usually comes in late at night. He’s always wearing washed downed blue jeans, a tucked in button-up shirt, and one greasy cowboy hat. He’s probably in his late forties or early fifties. He never gives me trouble. His face is worn and his skin is tight, folded, sun burnt, and weathered. He likes to laugh, and he likes to tell stories.

“What’s this stuff you’re listening to again tonight?”
“Louis Armstrong.”
“I thought I was in Texas!”
“...” I said nothing, last night I was listening to Argentinean Tango when he came in.
“I figured on some country music, you know, what the hell... some good ol’ American country music, man?”
“What, you don’t like Louis Armstrong or something?” I said jokingly.
“No, man, it’s not that... you know... I was figuring... you know, I’m from Oklahoma and all – don’t tell nobody, you hear – and I figured you could play some Hank Williams or something... something cool...”
“I like this stuff, man.”
“I know... but...”
“Hey, man, he’s an American, as fucking American as it gets!”
“Yeah... yeah, you got that right! Abso-fuckin-lutely! That’s right, man, he’s an American!”
“That’s right!”
“Hell yeah!”

He bought half a gallon of real cheap vodka and half a pint of cheap tequila.

“Man,” he says, “last night I celebrated my anniversary with the wife.”
“Happy Anniversary, man.”
“Thanks... that’s nine years!”
“Shit, that’s good.”
“That’s the fourth one, brother, and I tell you, I don’t know if it’s gonna be the last.”
“...”
“We went to Red Lobster. I tell you what, that’s a once a year thing.”
“Yeah...”
“Eighty Nine dollars and thirty nine cents! That’s what it cost me!”
“Oh, man, that’s all right for an anniversary, specially the ninth one!”
“Fuck. The wife, I take her out and she goes straight for the thirty one dollar lobster and steak menu! SHiIte, who the hell does she think she is! But I don’t say nothing, while I’m ordering myself the twenty one dollar special, she’s going all out for the big bucks.”
“Hey, come on man, it’s your anniversary!”
“Once a year, you know it, and she better not s’pect it more than that.”

“The little lady had to have her lobster all figured out for her. Now, me, I asked for a bib and she asked me why I put that on, and I says just watch. I got me the lobster with the claws the head and the eyes, nothing missing from mine. I live here now, and I’m from Oklahoma – don’t tell nobody – but I’ve lived twenty years in California, that’s right buddy, I have. I done used to be a diver. Now here in Texas, it’s a bit hard to continue, but down that way, I’d go for my own lobster...

“That tale is all muscles and shit, what’s the best is what you find in them claws...”
“Hey man, I’ve lived in Maine a lot, so I know.”
“So you know! You know what I’m talking about. I don’t have to tell you what’s what! Right? There’s some shit going on in them claws! Am I lying or not?”
“You’re right, there’s some good eating there... not much of it, but damn it’s good.”
“Well, you can get a good bite and a half from each claw.”
“If you’re lucky.”
“Nothing like it, it’s the best part of the lobster, so when all you order is the tale and stuff, you miss out on all the fun stuff.”

This keeps on for a while.

“She’s my fourth, and this was my ninth anniversary. EIGHTY NINE BUCKS, man, can you believe it?”
“It’s all good, man, for your ninth! It’s worth it.”
“She better not expect it more than once a year.”
“Oh, come on, next year it’ll be ten years, and you’ll really have to go over board.”
“Ten years! Are you kidding? I told her all ready, be happy with what you gots, cuz it might not last long.”
“Ten years, man, come on...”
“Hell no... no ten years for me, I done told her, she better get herself ready, I said. Shit! Ten years! Are you kidding? I told her I might not last that long and she better enjoy what she’s got while she’s got it, because next year is one different story all together!”

“All right, man.”
“See ya later.”
“Yeah.”

“But hell... that was damn good lobster.”

(I didn't do such a good job of relating this conversation. I actually like this guy. He's got a good heart, as hard as he's trying to prove others otherwise. He's a rough fellow. In the same conversation, he told me that for a living to earn his money he’s a brick layer profession-wise... The weather being what it's been for the last few weeks, it’s been all wet and humid meaning no work and thus no money for him as of late... which explains his crisis over 89 bucks for his 9th anniversary. He did seem to know what was what when it came to lobsters, which I don’t think translated very well.)