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needles needling needlessly with little thread... or much of anything else...

(foolish dribbles to be written at uncertain times, on an irregular basis, from uncertain sections of the ever expending universe, and from whatever dimension I-We-Us-Them might find ourselves/ myself in …)

Sunday, December 04, 2005

SILENCE 


Silence for the past few days. I wanted to apologize about the silence. December is when things go a bit crazy in the liquor and wine biz. That’s also when you get invited to parties. Last night, I was at a book-release party. I was expecting loads of people, and walked into an intimate group of 7 (8 including myself) where I felt uncomfortable. Tonight, I’m going to my company’s Christmas party – well, it’s not MY company, it’s where I work as a humble clerk selling wine and whiskeys. Tomorrow evening, I’m having drinks with the friend of a very good friend of mine. I’ve never met this person, but was told by my friend in San Francisco that me and this other person had to meet, so that’s what we’re doing Monday after I get out of class. That’s all part of it. Also it’s the last couple of weeks of class. I have a take-home quiz and an essay to turn in real fast. That’s what I’m supposed to be doing this Sunday morning. My regular coffee shop was full up with people at every single table and a line in front of the bar, so I changed, and here I am writing these lame excuses rather than working on my home-work. I have absolutely no reason, except procrastination, to not be working. I have two yellow pads, one with my notes from the semester and the other blank and ready for usage, two .05 black ink pens, though I prefer the .03’s, I can’t seem to find them anywhere around here, I have my school book and another film history book for further reference, and finally I have the questionnaire needing answering, and my laptop for internet research!

Then there’s the book of poems! Manuscript should have been ready for the press in September!

The silence will end soon. I’m moving to my next door neighbor’s house in mid-January, at which point I’m getting the internet re-installed within my living quarters. Currently reading The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul by Douglas Adams, trying to stay sane. It’s very funny, though last night sitting on the futon my sister gave me which resides in my office next to a very strong light and is used strickly as a reading & sitting apparatus, I was desperately trying to concentrate on the last few chapters of the book when a large black fly with red eyes kept flying circles around my head. I ignored him at first figuring he’d get tired of orbiting like a pestering moon around my personal globe, but eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore. I was tired, so it took a while. I’d gotten up early that day to go have a talk with my landlady, waking up on my couch with a hot iron instead of a face, and my glasses underneath my ass broken in two right in the middle so close to the seam there was no piece of duct tape which could help me. I waited for the sun to be full up, slapped my prescription sunglasses on, and drove on down to my landlady to discuss my moving into the other part of the duplex, rent, rat problems, and a myriad of other things. She’s a very nice lady, so it’s always a pleasant chat. Next, I had to resolve the glasses problem before going to work because there was no way I was driving home after work in the dark with sunglasses on. I all ready don’t see well, but added on to my car’s soft headlights, my inability to judge depth in times of stress, tiredness, and otherwise unpleasant situations, and the fact that I wanted to go to this party I had been invited to on the other side of the world, forced me to deal with the situation instead of going back home and taking a snooze on the couch or even possibly in my bed. Between getting a doctor’s appointment, ordering new glasses, and getting my old glasses soldered back together, that took from 9am till 3pm! My prescription are so strong nobody carries the necessary lens in their store, and thus I went to three different places before finally accepting the fact that I’d have to have them sent off to some laboratory and not to be returned to me before fifteen or so days. The third and last place I stopped, was a nice lady who gave me a descent price, relatively speaking, and even called the glass repair shop to tell them she’d broken my glasses herself while handling them and couldn’t they help me out, so that they wouldn’t charge me an exorbitant fee for soldering my defunct glasses. I was two hours late to work. We had a very busy day at work. The president and vice-president of the company came by to visit and make sure our store was up to par because next week the big world-wide big cheese of the largest spirits distributing / producing company in the universe is visiting our humble establishment...I hear he’s French, maybe he could give me a corporate job back in Paris or London where I can just hang out in a big office with a secretary and do nothing all day?...I’ll ask him, see what he thinks, shoot the shit with him in French, see if I impress him...or maybe not, I’ll probably shake his hands and be put back into place by his entourage. I’m guessing he’ll have an entourage? Don’t all C.E.O.’s of global encompassing companies have entourages? You know, body-guards, pretty blonds in high heals, tiresome little man in little suits, coffee carrying assistants, accountants constantly typing in numbers in small calculators, pencils sticking out of the ears, screaming numbers nobody in their right mind could ever understand...whatever, the store has to be swept, mopped, dusted, and all the other thing-a-jimmies. Christmas music, Christmas decorations, clean windows, and happy faces on every single one of our mugs. Then after work, I drove on half an hour in the opposite direction of my house to head on down to what I though was going to be a large congregation of people to visit with. By the time I got home, it was close to 1am, my dog Brutus was very upset with me for having left him on his own all this time, and all I wanted was a drink, and some profound peace. Which brings me back to the large buzzing fly doing circles around my head. There’s nothing I could do about it. I tried leaving the room running, to see if that might shock him into going somewhere else, I tried leaving the room very slowly to see if he might follow my outside, I tried making me a very strong gin and tonic with lots of lime to see if that had any effect, I tried taking a piss, I tried ignoring him. Nothing worked, so I went to bed.

And here I am, half an hour or more at the coffee shop, and I haven’t even taken my film history books out of my bag.
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